The aunties of HK

Last Sunday we decided to venture from our cocoon in Lantau Island to HK island. It’s just a short ferry ride away, but the contrast is stark. As soon as you step off the ferry the bustling pace of the city hits you. Gone are the people ambling along the water, mothers with strollers sipping a coffee or cold drink and people driving around in their golf carts.

But this time as we stepped out, it’s not the heat or just a general sense of crowds that struck me. It was large groups of women sitting on the ground or on cardboard boxes with large trays of food and open lunch boxes giggling and enjoying themselves, oblivious to the heat. I wondered if there was a concert of some kind or a parade happening. Thanks to Covid, seeing large gatherings of people has become somewhat of an anomaly. As we walked along, I realised they were all ‘helpers’. Now if you are from the west, the term ‘helper’ is completely foreign, but here in HK it’s as common as the bugs. Most households here employ a domestic helper, usually from the Philippines or Indonesia and occasionally from India or Nepal. These women have what I consider one of the hardest jobs - they leave their own families behind to come to HK and take care of other families, working 6 days a week and usually living in cramped spaces with their employers. They actually have special bunk beds made for them to fit the tiny rooms they live in (if they are lucky enough to get their own room). Their one day off - Sunday. Because most of them either live with their employers or in small shared boarding houses, their only place to socialise with friends or catch up with their own families is outside in public spaces.

(image is from the Guardian on an article they did on this)

I have to admit at first the idea was so alien to me, but having now been here a few weeks I’ve had the chance to see why it works for so many families. I have met many families who have domestic helpers who they love and treat as part of their own families. The children they take care of absolutely love their “aunties“, and the aunties in return are loving, generous caretakers who love and care for these children like their own. I have seen their generosity first hand - there have been many times when I am getting on a bus with V in one hand, trying to fold the stroller (the buses are often mini buses where you have to fold the buggy to get on) and making sure the girls get on where one of these aunties gets off the bus to help me take the stroller in. If anyone holds open the door while I push the buggy through, I don't even have to look up to know its likely a sweet aunty.

There is no concept of full time nursery or daycare here or wrap around childcare for school age children, so families with two working parents have to rely on helpers to help them care for children and other household chores. People also generally work much longer hours and can then focus on their children or hobbies without being bogged down by household chores. Its definitely a luxury, but one that is far more affordable than a nanny or cleaner in the west. In turn, for these women coming to Hong Kong to work provides them a means to support their families back home and educate their children. We are lucky enough to live in an expat community where generally they are treated really well and paid much above the minimum. With many expats now leaving HK, I have seen so many posts for people looking for a nice new family for their helpers. These posts often express how much their aunties have become a part of their lives and how they will be missed. However, there is the flip side where many of these women work with families that underpay them and don't treat them all that well. Like with everything else, Covid has made life very difficult for them - many of them have been unable to see their own children in over a year because of all the travel restrictions.

Hats off to the aunties of Hong Kong who sacrifice so much to provide for their families. I have special admiration for those that are mothers themselves and have to make the ultimate sacrifice of leaving their own children - I struggle to do this even for a few hours. I will never view the word 'auntie' the same way again:)